Saw a sad you tube. A beautiful BIG farmhouse is soon to be trashed, to make

way for tickey-tack burb-ville.  You'd think there's be some rich person who would want that lovely 7-bedroom house.  But no...i guess things like farm-houses, beautiful wooden stair-cases.. uh, too much like patriarchal. 

So sad, way it is.  Methinks, society - both rich and poor - is losing its mind.

Oh brother, more Christ-less morality. An 18 year old can no longer buy a pack of smokes, but a nine year-old girl

can decide she is a he, and her male classmates best not say a peep if s-he starts using the boy's (is it still called that anymore?) bathroom. 

Yeah, smoking is bad news for lungs.  And smokers pay a big tax on their fav brand of leafy coffin-nails.  We also pay more for life-insurance.  Many health policies now offer discounts to people who don't smoke (something like 80% of the population), who don't eat cookies, and exercise religiously.  Anyway, smoking or not is an adult's decision.

Seems not so with the gender-bender lobby - telling nine year-olds they can crash the other gender's bathroom, and get all sorts of pills.  Uh, who's footing that bill?  By the way - and it's hard to believe this - but i heard that a 15 year-old girl can get birth-control gear through Gov agencies - and her parents don't have to know about it.

Wanna talk about health?  Giving out pills to kids, for no better reason than...oh just because, will come back and bite big-time long before those teens reach middle age. 

Yeah, in my day (raspy old voice) kids were smoking, and except for a few drug-heads, the pills we got were for things like the flu, sprained muscles, stepping on a nail.  For the most part, depression wasn't an issue.  Dads and brothers taught pip-squeak jimmy how to sock a good one in the bully's pie-hole.  And the school principal (usually a man) yeah, would have to have a talk, have to suspend jimmy for the day (while wanting to shake that skinny boy's hand, and tell him, "well done son.")

Nowadays, society is saddled with legions of busy-body spinsterish women, throwing their (excess) weight around, in areas women have no business old-biddying around in.

Back in the late 80s, i'd see those "We're Spending Our Children's Inheritance"

bumper stickers on the back of some nice vehicles.  These pee-pull were not boomers - since back then my age group was about 20 years away from the ez retIred life.  The stickers easily raised that bad spirit of covetousness, but at the same time, i wanted to shout a resounding "right on!"

Now 30 years later, i am of retIrement age (ain't happening for quite awhile) and i think VERY differently.  Buncha worldlings, that mmmeeeeeeist mentality is very much alive.  Not that i am any great shakes Scripture wise, but it only makes sense, that if you blow all your money, and jack up your family...uh, says alot about your character.

diSPELLing a vicious rumor - that king james I was queer. Over his lifetime on the throne,

it is said that he invited several men into his bedroom.  It wasn't until a few months ago, that i had read that the king's bedroom was very secure.  In the kings treasury room, if a guy snuck in and made off with a few bags of money or stole a few gold salad plates from the dining room hutch ... yeah whatever, lots more where that came from.

But an envelope containing a parchment or two.  It's easier to hide that in your britches than a gold goblet.  National security.  Oh, and the palace had ears;  some things were best said away from courtiers, servants, minstrels, mistresses...

Royals also moved once, maybe twice yearly.  So, servants packing and unpacking stuff went on.  Needless to say, it's one thing for a few silver spoons to get mislaid in the shuffle, documents concerning national security...uh, another story.

Until recently, i just assumed that king james was swishy.  Believed the vicious rumor, i forgot about top secret papers, meetings and documents.  Bet our President keeps top secret stuff in his bedroom.

As for the cranks who want to impeach our President, blow it out yer you-know-what!

A certain decon was going on about how most, if not all, human art is unbiblical - that graven images of heroes, elves, maidens, wizards, is idolatry.

Was one reason she quit on the Lord.  She said it was too constraining  to not be able to do art.  Thing is, 'rrtteests generally take themselves wwaaay too seriously...as if the planet would cave in without so-n-so's (homespun, and rather mediocre) aarrrt.  Frankly, following Christ isn't fun.  Thing is, life isn't supposed to be fun.  Hard truth is: denying self is really difficult, at best.  What gripes me most about most preechers is: they act like doing godly things is easy, like they're above falling for fleshly lusts - ya know, not always the gross stuff like drinking and sleeping around.  Worldly lusts can be good things, like working high-level math problems or cultivating high-end roses.

i seriously doubt that i am the only person who struggles.  Struggles with the Biblical fact that what i think, or care to blog ... these things ultimately do. not. matter.  one. iota.  Because, frankly, i. do. not. matter.  Only the Lord Himself matters.

"It's better to give, than receive." Oh, shut the eff up, ms.beltwaychurchian. Kindly, take yer smug attitude and shove it already.

Oh, and that lovely winter coat you have on, uh looks rather new...like the car you drive.  Bet ya have three nice winter coats and several pairs of leather, cashmere lined gloves.  Yeah, isn't it so typical, how people who run that sing-songee line don't go around in winter coats with threadbare linings - or drive vehicles that are older than the average mechanic. 

Holidays,,,ugh!  It's been a rough year.  And frankly, what i want to give as a gift is that beautiful heavy cotton king size bedspread to ME for christmas - and i don't even sleep in that big bed.  But i want that lovely bedspread anyway - something nice to leave in my will.

And i want the stainless steel, stove top coffee pot AND the stainless steel tea pot.  Talking several hundred dollars; the quality items are worth every penny.  As soon as that catalog comes....nuts to this and that cchhhaaarrrity.   It's my turn.  Selfish?  You betcha!

Uh, the Lord Jesus is smarter than me...by atleast a few zillion light-years

And that's on His day off - when the Lord is simply going for a walk.  So, if He chooses to call certain sins "abominations," uhm, that's serious.  By the way, intentionally selling bologna sandwiches for $5.95, when they're actually $5.45 is giving a false measure - yep, an abomination in the Lord's eyes.

That said, what really bugs me about the lgbt...abc agenda is, the sexualization, the confusion of describing non-sexual relationships.  But in all fairness, fornicators have muddied the waters as well. 

i am half afraid to use the phrase, "my girlfriend..."(is glad she had taken business courses).  Have to wonder, is the tinkering with language, a method to shut up the run-of-the-mill normal sinner?

Anyway, lunch is soon over.

Why the previous post? Well, it all started yesterday, when i cracked a jest about some old woman's flower bush, that wouldn't flower.

Made the statement that it must have had gender-identity issues - the blooms consistently would not get past the bud stage.  Well, the woman with whom i was chit-chatting, adamantly stated that she doesn't judge - wow, was thinking to myself, what-th'-flock!! just happened here ;/

Them pervs got about everybody just plain skeered - of even expressing a personal opinion concerning human sexuality during a private conversation - that's what happened here!  No tv cameras were around, and our smart-phones were in our respective pocketbooks - uh, when one is driving, cellphones belong put a.w.a.y!!!  Oopsie-woopsie, i'm judging.

Yeah, there's history.  Years before them sickoids started demanding that the 90% hetero REST-OF-US submit to their really-twisted definition of Marriage...yeah, back in the 90s, i was pro-gay.  Oh, and by the way, back then, i wanted NO PARTS of the Bible (didn't like the Lord one bit, back then, thought He was intolerant - and misogynist). 

Anyway, the gays were beefing about something, and i cannot recall what they were upset about.  But it wasn't the first time the gay-agenda people were snit-fitting.  Anyway, the following thought came to mind: no matter how much heteros accept (and bend) it will never be enough.

Little did i know (or even care) back then, that the Bible is fact - Sodom, Gibea.  Uh, those guys were fixing to bust down the door - doesn't sound tolerant to me.

Speaking of not judging, my car is a clunker.  Your car is so fine.  i think i'll just take it, and you can have mine - uh yeah, it needs a new axle and some serious body -putty. 

Don't judge??? Really! Concerning that ChicFillae that got shut down in England. Once again, it's the sodomites who are judgy.

Oh, but that's only the half of it.  Not only did them weirdos wax vicious in the City of Sodom, they repeated their vicious drama in the City of Gibea some 900 years later.

Sodomites don't want mere acceptance (for their unsanitary, and just plain gross...ugh) they expect the 90% of normal people to just submit to their weirdo agenda.

Don't judge...my big toe;/

Haven't visited any blogs lately. Busy. But anyway, at one of the churchian beltway blogs, smugly, the woman goes on about how wives

should stay home and let their husbands provide.  Yeah, tell that one to Ruby - she stayed home, and for YEARS, was careful with the money her husband earned.  Well guess what!  Yep, he wants out - is that a surprise?   So, now at 50-something she has to find full-time work.  Thankfully, she (contrary to the sumggies over at bible-beltway central) has a real college degree, in a real field.  But she's 50-something.  Yeah, while the beltway smuggie says women shouldn't opt for college, uh she has a degree.  Go figure, huh.

A few weeks ago, had read a red-pill post. WishfOOl delusion was all it was.

That men in power are reading their stuff.  Sure, the guys at the top are reading these he-hampster heralds - and laughing ;)  Red-pills are guys who think they deserve swedish bikini models, when in reality they'd be lucky to score a post-wall fat-chick - who has two cats climbing over countertops and tables (bbluck).

No disrespect to 35+ women some 35+ pounds overweight.  As for hairy critters snotting and otherwise leaking body fluids...ugh, don't want to visit there for any length of time.  But her place, her rules.

Speaking of lodgings, Pastor Mike Hoggard just did a sermon, where he mentioned (as Pastor Reg Kelly had done in the recent past) in his town, smart motivated young women who have boyfriends living in their apartments - and the guys don't have jobs or cars; they just sit around all day playing video games, smoking dope and watching nasty stuff on the net.

While not all red-pillers are bumps, or even right next door, these guys want the free sex, and want someone else to fund the abortion.

Busstop ahead.  Time for WORK.

Thanks hackers, for keeping good links from bloggers' sidebars.

After having added the link, a warning message came up that the site was not secure...  uhm, don't care to put this blog's two or three readers at risk.

The 2009 article had been written by a young man who had been a struggling college student.

https://m.dailykos.com/stories/2009/3/24/710593/-

What sucks the most about being poor, by droogie6655321

Some ways down, he had recalled, a time when he decided to just ease his mind for an hour or so, by simply going for a walk.

Oh, but mammon, had to ruin that.  When droogie got back home, he noticed swelling in his feet.  Yeah, he needed better shoes.  Ccha-chingg, just refuses to shut its moldy stinking pie-hole (for even an hour).

'Ti$ that time of year ;/ fork it over, dufus! Co-worker's 20s are bound to flow

toward christmas gifts for poor kids.  i can spare - though, not comfortably - $10.  Have home repairs AND my truck needs tires - and they'll be good tires, not cheapie ones (that only end up costing more in the long run).  Yeah, i get it, poor people don't have much over $50, if that, in savings - but more than a few sport several $1,000 in tats upon always in-yer-face arms and legs...hhmmm, go figure. 

Before December 25, i can about guarantee,  i will have filled 1/2 a burn-barrell's worth of ccchhhaarity-appeal mailings.  Yep!  Every frigging last one of 'em goes directly into the trash - un.opened!  i contribute to the collection plate, and for now, that's it, fort pitt, with donations.

Just last night, while listening to a Bible sermon, the preacher was talking about how people can help widows.  In my area is such a ministry.  Well (please, Dear Jesus, help me) i ain't asking for anyone's help - if i can't do it myself or PAY someone properly, well then, it ain't getting done.  Yeah, that's pride, loud and clear - can't help it, here and there, on a few things, Ayn Rand was so right on.

In about 2 5 hours will mark the approximate time my husband passed, last year on this date.

And i don't really want to be in the house anytime between 7 and 8 pm.  Tomorrow night won't be much less stressful.  Don't care for this time of year - the forces of hell are about.  Oh yeah, will have the audio-sermons playing.  That runs them off, they don't like hearing about Christ's return - it scares them.  The wash basket is ready to be loaded in the car; by 6:30 i'll be at the mat, and won't be back to the house until a bit after 8.

People think spirits are cool.  i don't.  Yeah, i know that many just want to have some fun, they're not into being malicious.  But the thing is, even the least evil of the demons side with the dragon (the devil), they do satan's will.

90-some percent of widow sites focus on dating. BLEEECH! Seriously sounds more like satan's plan to turn widows into wid-hos.

More peter-pan, but this time with horns.  Yep, just another way to make financially-challenged old widows feel even more like crap.  Dating means shelling out money for ewhoremany and other dating sites - not to mention, the hair studio, and buying a few (ti$$ue-thin) outfits.  For what?  So you can hook up with mr.dutch-treat - who, by the way, will - three dates from now, will - expect a bj for his half-flaccid junk.  That's what!  Bleech, no thanks.

Oh, the peter-pan advice for (old) widows...gag me with a spoon. First off,

telling a widow to "re-invent" herself, and "just get out there"...uhm, "makeovers" and getting new curtains for the livingroom...excuse freaking me, but simply treating yourself to lunch at the diner...costs money.  Ya know, that which more than a few old widows can't really spare.

Oh, i am so glad that one thing i am so NOT! is lonely. 

But alot of financially struggling widows are.  And the last thing they need is smug-arse'd advIce from people who aren't worried about the cost of tires, and whether the roof will be okay till spring.

Just today, ms-thinks-shes-all-that (the 2nd) was going on, and on, about her (local) shopping trip she made the other day.  i basically gray rocked.

NO! i'm not lonely, and neither do i care to find a group of (gossipy) women to do lunch with.  Once in a while, i do treat myself - and frankly, i am just f-I-n-e, fine eating ALONE in a diner.  When i was young, being alone was a reproach (uh, yeah, satan deceives young women into buying the L.I.E. that you need pee-pull - most of whom are bad news, anyway - to validate you).  Now that i am old, i can enjoy solitude.  Have to be so careful around pee-pull...whaddabuncha hidden reefs...no thanks.

Saw a new term, wid-hoe, and i am not surprised. The term was hooked up

with the familiar fwb (friends with benefits) that aren't friends at all, and offer n.o.t.h.i.n.g., only take.  The internet is fOOl of this bs.  Seems, everytime i google, looking for widow blogs, the search engine, unfailingly, generates the same dating slop.  Women, especially women who've lived long enough to know better, can be such pathetic idiots. Ugh, nauseating!

Sometimes i am grateful that my financial situation does not allow me to go out - it's called the Lord's hedge of protection against temptation.  But i would be a boldfaced  liar to deny the flesh that still dwells within me.  My unredeemed flesh does NOT want to "socialize" because, frankly, this old hag is one stuck-up bayoch - junior-high cheerleaders, call yer office!

The red pills would call it just another "post-wall entitled" b!tch.  You got that right!  Ew, the very idea of dating...worse than repeatedly interviewing for the same sort of crappy jobs.  At least burning up the precious gas in your tank to travel miles to wash dishes or scrub smelly toilets is something you do fully dressed. 

That loud mouth woman spilled a sack of red-pill pellets in the hall.

Knew there was something i didn't like about her.  She was bragging to her girlfriend along the lines of scoring money from her two previous marriages.  Uhm, guess that helped to finance that 3-week euro va-ca she was bragging about just two weeks ago.  And guys don't want to commit?  Ya think...!

Oh well, on the bus now, headed home.  i'm hungry, will boil some macaroni, add a few cauliflower florets, butter and ricotta cheese.  Tomorrow, the cafe is having chicken cordon bleu - will enjoy that real meal.  It's been a few days. i know this is a rough patch, and maybe next year around this time, thing$ will stabilize.

Oh but there are a few real men of God out there. The real preachers, however few

and far between, exhort their congregations that giving - unless it's for-real, don't bother.  The real men of God, have real faith; they know that the Lord will provide, one way or another.  Yeah, the real preachers aren't shy to exhort their congregations about sacrificial giving and denying self - some people enjoy giving 30%, other people are grateful to manage a joyous 5%.  Real men of God want their congregations to have food in their cupboards, and no back-balances on their electric bills.  Real men of God don't hex struggling householders' machinery from the pulpit.  Hex???  You betcha!  There are he-witches behind pulpits - even ones who are KJB only.

That preacher would make a mob-boss proud. In a sermon, he was fixing to shakedown

25% (not just the mere 10% off the top), and then to add bleeping insult to settin'-in-th'-dark (ta save on juice) injury, he went on saying, to get out of debt.  Oh, how bleeping so - being financially VEXED like that, every bleeping Sunday.  And one other thing, where's the 20 bucks gonna come from - to slip yer co-worker...uh, the one who's in a jam - and has a kid to feed?

Tell him or her to go to church for help.  Hah!  He or she is apt to tell you to go-da-hell!  And ya know what?  Can't really blame the person's harsh response; he or she has probably been preached AT more than once.  Church people - even truly born again folks - can be nosy b*tards - as insensitive as any rank worldling, if not worse. 

Ya need $200 to fix yer car - so you can get to work, it's likely they'll want to see your finances, and ya better not be caught buying a soda and a pack of gum from a vending machine - glory be, that's like two bucks.

He went on, how churches, back in the day, (before INSSSAAANNNE property taxes) spent 25% of their profit on helping widows.  These days, many widows work - and if they got some backbone/gumption, (and and enough brain cells to atleast halfways plan ahead) widows can bootstrap th' you-know-what up, and take care of their own selves. 

There's more than enough outstretched hands in this world to deal with.  This world doesn't need yet another.

The legal document read "single female." Uh, no, I am NOT "single." I am a Widow.

But i guess, to be listed as a Widow would be politically incorrect.  We have to lump everyone together.  Never mind that staying in a marriage is not always easy.  My late Husband and i had our problems.  We didn't always see eye to eye on things, but we stuck it out.  i loved him, still do. 

That "single" word bothers me - yeah, a pride thing (that's sin).  "Single," at my age connotes either having been put away (divorced) or being an "old maid."  There's that pride thing again.

Oh what next, in the wonky-world of political correctness?  Will my boss soon not be allowed to have his title next to his name on the correspondence?  Uh, hey, he worked diligently to get to that nice space - take home that nice pay-check.  Ya know, he could have wasted his earlier years slacking around.  But no, he chose to get up each morning and go to work, and go to bed at a decent hour (instead of bar-jockeying), so he would be rested and in a mindset to do a good job. 

What i'm trying to say is: people who stick it out get shafted, when lumped with people who - for whatever reason - did not stay the course.

If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck... The congregation had some members

who didn't believe in going to the hospital to have a baby.  Some churches seem cultish.  His topic concerned muted oaths.  Ya can't say "dern" spreadsheet formula won't work or "freaking" tires are shot, or even aw "crap" i'm running late.   Not even, "oh my goodness" that lime pie was the best!   Yeah, i get it, the Lord takes issue with the multitudes of words that come out of our yaps - and from our fingers.

Talking and typing feel good...yep, yet ANOTHER pleasure we are to "deny" ourselves.  Oh, it's not enough to give up the booze, and the acid-rock...it's never enough, and won't be enough in this life-time.  Following the Lord Jesus is H.A.R.D., hard!!!  And anyone who goes around all happy-clappy, waxing praisey-maisy is either deluded or full of monkey-stuff, or both.

Alot of churches put on this facade.  No wonder Peeps thinks the Lord is a socio-path.  Yeah, thanks cults, thanks a (bleepin) lot!

Call it very effective advertising - call it what ya will. i believe the story actually happened...more than once.

Somewhere, in a 4th or 5th grade classroom, all the kids - except one - was looking forward to lunch.  They anticipated opening their brown bags of lettuicy ham or tuna sandwiches, pears or apples and snack-cakes.

One boy pulled out his (rather crinkled) brown bag, but didn't open it.  When asked by the kid or kids around him.  He just said he wasn't hungry.  A teacher came over, and with for-real concern, attempted to coax him to open his bag and eat his lunch.  She gently picked up the bag, looked inside, only to find a ball of (old) foil - and whatever else was in there to make the bag appear as if there was food inside.

Call the mass mailing what ya will.  The "advertisement campaign" got me.  Didn't have much to spare, but i sent a few bucks.

Have to wonder, what the heck  was up with the boy's folks?  Was the reason their kid was hungry, a legitimate one?  Dad unemployed?  Mom in the hospital?  Or was the reason the usual tattooed hands buying lottery tickets AND cigs?  Whatever!  A nine or ten year-old child was hungry.

The discount store in town isn't leaning on their customers to fork it over for that storm

that hit last week.  Few days ago my purchase was $6 and the change went to the charity.  Not this time.  i need gas and am already over budget.  Shoulda just ditched the dentist appointment.  Have to drive tomorrow, that means gas and parking. 

Ccchhhaarrities!  Ya wonder why people bristle, especially when christians??? keyboard shake-down posts.  One guy, seriously, advised not even brewing that morning cup of coffee at home, and drinking just water instead.  Uhm, does he skip his morning coffee or soda-pop?  Why his advice?  Nah, it wasn't about storm victims; it was about padding pulpiteers' pockets.  Even if that means your water bill goes out late...uhm, isn't paying late an act of theft against one's neighbors?

Another scripture-slinger was going on that if you bristle, you are carnal.  Well, welcome to the real (fallen) world, of real (ly fallen) people, buddy.  The Lord expects/commands us to do the freaking impossible, and be freaking cheerful about it.  Say, freaking what???

Next week, will try to do better, and cough up a few more bucks for the storm victims.  Just sign me, almost-oudda-cottage-cheese-and-celery.

"Blabbing all over the internet," here's what it is, and what it isn't. Professional writers and

popular bloggers, please disregard this post ;) because, you do actual, statistical research - and that's why you have a wide readership.  i am just a cyber-sidestreet of a sidestreet blogger, and that just suits me fine. 

Blabbing on the net is, content where names are used, and proof is really sketchy, at best.  Blabbing is, barging onto blogs - including stephanie's 7th century Hungarian pottery blog-ring, and blabbing stuff that's well sort of related, but not really.  Congressman Joseph Snurd's latest antics isn't over a vase he received from a CEO, while a aboard some other CEO's yacht.  And anyway, the vase was made in Italy, during the mid 1950s.

i like coming here because i can express things, and if this blog attracts a few people who stop in every now and then...yay.  On another blog, written by someone who DOES research, the writer made a quip on one of his posts about having a single-digit readership.  He didn't care, he writes worthwhile things.  And if nobody else is interested, then nobody else is interested.  He posts on his blog, anyway.

There are places where, when you log on, sure your writing will be seen - for atleast a second or two - by alot more people and groups.  You may get enough hits to draw in advertisers - enough to pay your cyber-bill.  But there's a rope attached.  Your comings and goings are monitored even closer.

Popularity is a house of cards, in a house that needs weather stripping on its windows and doors.  Our nation's people are losing their freedom to express things that are not politically correct.  Like why health insurance is so dern expensive.   And then those real estate and related taxes are insssanne!  Yep, that's where it's coming from.

The preacher is serious about the Gospel. He isn't afraid to preach unpopular Scriptures.

Ya know, the ones about marriage - where the husband is head of the house, and the wife is the keeper at home.  Red-pillers, of course, would write him off as a "cuckservitive" - while turning positively green with envy at him.  Just look at his picture - someone yer glad to know is a Christian.  Uh, wouldn't want to get on his fighting side. 

The old preacher, oh somehow, has the time to read and seriously study the King James Bible, and preach three hour-long sermons a week - and they're either continuations of a topic, or a different scriptural topic.  Meanwhile, he works on his farm and does a related side business.  He's in his mid 60s, and can do more than way too many players half his age. 

He and his wife are long-time, first-time, married.  Yep, that doesn't sit well with the bitter pills.  They are darwinistic at heart, thinking they're alphas, mad at the world because their wife got fed up and split with whatever cash and prizes (if any).  And along comes some old farmer (with calloused hands and and an aching back - that doesn't stop him), with a wife who enjoys his company and appreciates his efforts. 

Yeah, may the real alpha stand up ;)

i'd be willing to bet, that if long comfortable, sensible, cotton dresses

were available, women would snap them up.  About 90% off all dresses are blends.  And, of course, around the 5th washing, you have something that you can't even use as a household rag.  Back in the 80s (raspy old voice) the coke-bottle fabric actually lasted 5 more washings, and some.  But even then, i began to notice, cotton was better.

The thing about wearing long dresses is, you don't need to buy skin suffocating leggings, and have three closets of shoes.  And, oh, at the risk of sounding Victorian, a cotton skip protects your dress from friction, perspiration.  A cotton dress will last several years.  And each year, the catalogs only offer a few - that's if they're in stock.

Having a few nice garments beats a closet full of recycled coke bottles that you can't recycle two months later when the thing is getting shabby.  Natural fabrics make better economic sense.  A closet full of duds that you don't really like - not after the 2nd or 3rd resting.  Leads to confusion.

You know your life is limited, when you find yourself looking forward what's being served in the work-place cafeteria.

Today, it's chicken cordem-blu.  Not sure of the spelling, but it's being served with little red potatoes and whatever green veggie.  It's going on 8 AM, and i am hungry already.  But i'll wait.  Have to budget ya know.  People can say what they will about smoking, but those cigs help to stifle the desire for food - which is why quitting leads to weight-gain.  No thanks.  Need to make do with the going threadbare wardrobe i have.

Meanwhile, over on shakedown street, 10% gross is just the minimum.

Oh, the missionary fund is extra.  Kay, a woman i had worked with, really needed to see a dentist - ew!  She was going on about having given her tithe (and yeah, that word makes me bristle ... over my cheese-crackers)  AND putting in extra for the missionary (or whatever other scam was going down).  Uh, that woman worked a full-time and a part-time job and yet was hard-pressed to meet the INSANNNEEE rent for her rather dingy apartment.  She doesn't smoke or drink, by the way. 

And, by the way, she ended up getting canned from the part-time...uh yeah, it's about mental exhaustion.  Funny (NOT!) how that works - about everyone i know who works two jobs, seems to manifest the "serving two masters" drama.  i'll bet ole shakedown tabernacle was leaning on that as well.

i'll bet, they only, at best, had sent a (croc) card, when she ended up several days in the hospital.  That happened like two or three days after getting canned (coincidence???  Doubt it!)   She had od'd on sleeping pills.  Yeah, she was out of her mind exhausted, and didn't want to go on.

Don't recall where the Scripture is, but in the Old Testament (i think) there's

somewhere that says to buy (non- alke) wine, bread and milk.  A preacher, over at sermonaudio, was saying that these three foods are enough for a person to get by okay.  i buy fruit juice (not that corn-suripy garbage) quality breads, real cheese, real butter and whole milk.  Don't eat much meat, too pricey.  i also buy fresh veges, sometimes cabbage - yeah, poor-people's food.  Four dollars for a head of cauliflower  - that's one meal.  Next year may put in a garden, but that calls for a load of top-soil, and then there's dragging a hose each day, and critters. 

Here at the safe place, where if anyone cares to read - those numbers, or lack thereof, are the Lord's call.

Anyway, read a disturbing post.  A woman was helping her mom - a woman about my age.  The old woman had been twice married, both were anti-husbands...and what else is news?   The daughter, evidently made good decisions in her matter$, had a decent job and such; but she and her husband had their own issues (mortgage, repairs, electric...) 

Well, in short, the so-called "church" was acting more anti-church.  They were leaning on the old lady, for that 10% right off the top.  Needless to say, the old woman was not able to meet basic expenses without the daughter's monthly help.  Mom worked in a shark-tank, not a good place for anybody, of any age.  Ya know, the usual evolutionary mind-set. 

That little church, on shakedown street, was doing a number on keeping the daughter in her atheist-decision - and robbing HER of her family's resources.  Ah the aroma of wolf-droppings.  (Details in the Book of Jude).  The article, forgot to ad, was a financial advice column.

The Lord's common grace at work:  the daughter was putting Mom's needs before her own, but was really rankled,  that the money she was able to give her mom, so she could meet her basic living expenses, was about 10% of Mom's gross monthly income.  Uh yeah, i'd be rankled too. 

Doesn't the Old Testament exhort families to meet their expenses, stay out of debt, and leave an inheritance?  Yep, the pulpiteers somehow leave that out. 

i like coming here, because here is not "blabbing all over the internet."

Have to have traffic for that.  Anyway, here at this safe place... Oh, and by the way, my "private blog" is in a drawer - ya know, the old fashioned kind - pen and paper.  Anyway, want to relate a true story, about an extended family member.  We'll call her Ellen.  Ellen has always been motivated.  She draws a six-figure salary.  Granted, i don't like her, she was always a snooty bayoch.  But i haven't seen her for years, and doesn't break my heart.

Here's the deal.  She and her mom were very close, years ago.  The dynamics amazed me, how they were like friends.  Well, evidently, something went bad.  i wasn't there, i don't know - she and her mom are not on good terms.  Ellen has a media page - ya know, the real popular one.  Those "popular" ones give me the willies.

And i heard those exact words (well, pretty dern close).  "Blabbing all over the internet."  Hey, i wasn't there, and yeah, Ellen is a snooty ...  That aside, it's a free country, and if she needs to vent on that widely accessed platform, we are free to read, or not read.

Was taken rather aback by those words.  Like invalidation, something was bothering Ellen, and it's like keeping up a front is more important than being real.  Uh, those "blabbing all over ..." words were quoted by a motivated get-stuff-done person - a person who, i have to seriously wonder, if she has emotions.  i say that, because - while controlling ones emotions is not only VERY Biblical, but also makes good sense in the world.  But i seriously wonder about people who don't ever get irritated or opinionated.  People like that, i definitely keep my guard up, and keep a distance from.

And what i heard is: Ellen's mom has been upset about things.  She may be bitter, or she may be grieved - methinks, the latter.  Her late husband of several decades left her next to nothing, and she caregivers a grown child.  Uh, sounds like reason to be upset.  Doesn't help one iota that the (elderly) mom is a practical atheist, from what i gather.

Speaking of (practical or categorical) atheists, saw a picture of, think it was, Bertram Russell taken a few years before his death.  And a quote that i don't remember.  But i remember the tone, it was of very controlled sadness, disappointment, mixed with fear and dread.  Well yeah, he was like 80-something.  There was something eerie about his countenance, i thought of creatures stirring, as the darkness approaches on a summer evening.

Six-figure or eating cheese crackers for supper, to be near the end of life here on earth as an atheist...not good.  Atleast mormons and jehovah's witnesses, and goddess-worshippers (catholics) believe in an afterlife.  Unfortunately, unless you believe that only faith in Christ (not Mary, not Allah, thor, Mickey mouse) and repenting of sin will save you.  The latter is a fruit of salvation.

Anyway, to believe that death is final, well yeah, of course yer gonna end up dissatisfied, disappointed.  King Solomon had the best of things, and when he got old, he realized he (accomplished) he had wasted so many years in stuff that really didn't matter.  He was no atheist, and yet he was bummed out.  i can only imagine what goes through an unbeliever's mind, as old age manifests itself.

Uh, no thanks.  And yeah, what a quiet joy to give thanks to the Lord for a couple of cheese crackers.

Oh brother, over at pa(t)he's, some atheist was (predictably) going on about how

atheists know (the Bible) better ...  Yeah, I need to get my eyes checked, so i'll call up the ear doctor.  Seriously, the Scriptures are SO PACKED - which is why (per the Holy Spirit) a 10th-grade educated farm-hand can really know the Word, in numerous ways, not bestowed on most others.  Uh yeah, none of the Scriptures are for private interpretation - yeah, that's written in there.  

What i'm getting at is: i have heard several godly preachers say how they've read such-n-such chapter over and over again, over the years - and bam!  Such-n-such verse ... was like they'd never read it before, but they had.  Yeah, even i know, try explaining that to a Christ-basher - uh, like trying to explain basic arithmetic to a chimpanzee; whaddawastea breath.

Some Christians are interested in the genealogy portions - and use (and check their) excel spreadsheets.  Other Christian's hone in on the battles.  While others focus on the young church.  And still others, will read, and update pencil-drawn maps.  Uh, can ya spell, different parts of the Body of Christ?

Oh yeah, i've no beef whatsoever with stats that claim that atheists are generally more intelligent/educated than for-real Christians.  Uh, didn't the Lord enable (per common grace) that bigger-barn guy with the smarts and the drive to achieve?  He was fixing to retIre, then WHAM ... he's not golfing in Florida.

Continuation from a recent post on another blog. The "mean-girls" over

at a certain red-pill site - where they talk about "game," which is nuthin but mental manipulation - anyway, these guys outdo any self-respecting junior-high mean-girl, any day of the week.  Teenage mean-girls may grow out of it, and eventually grow a heart.  Uh, not so sure about 30 year-old men (for lack of better terms).   Uh, pharoah's heart was already very hard - while Moses was enjoying a quiet shepard's life. 

Anyway, another advantage of being an old "hag" (back at cha, bozos) is, having no sex-drive.  Yeah, i'm all dried up - and that don't break my heart one iota.  i don't want a boyfriend because that's fornication; don't even want even the appearance of that possibly going on.  Yeah, this old hag is a snob - so i've no desire to white-wash that reality in churchianeze.  And i don't want a husband either, because the Bible says a wife is to submit to their husband.  Even if he's a bozo - uh, like most of 'em.  No thanks, glad i'm way past "post wall."

i'm sorry to think this way, but doggoneit, with 2/3rds of the college-debt load being on the backs of women, matches the same 2/3rds of college students are female.  Uh, where the tarnation are the men?  That stat speaks volumes, and those young fellas attended slacker101 somewhere.  Uh, like from dear old daDUH - who threw mom under the bus, and then had the gall to whine when she put in paperwork at the DRO? 

By the way, there's this guy at work, going on about how proud he is of his son.  Horse patties!  If he was for-real, he and the boy's mom would still be MARRIED and sleeping in the same bed.  Wives don't normally decide on some half-cloudy Thursday, they want to be single - it's a years wearing down period.  And guess what, women are fallible humans too - and can only stands so much. 

A few days ago, that same guy was spouting some other rubbish - something about a woman had stopped to chat, and him not wanting to hear about some church picnic...uh, like participating in church fellowship is worthy of being scoffed at.  Oh, fershure, wanted nuthin to do with that jerk, the first time he spouted his stupidity.  His (married) co-worker seems flirtatious...oh, she can have 'em - ugh!

What I'm getting at is, college-age men have adultolescents who sired them.  Many of these cad-dads are in their 50s and some are older. 

i can keep the window AC upstairs on energy saver. We're having a heat wave.

It's been a humid mid 90s for much of the week.  And i've been sleeping upstairs for the past few nights.  Normal summer temps around here are like 85 by day and 65 or 70  by night.  So a fan and a parted curtain does the trick.  When my husband was alive, we'd have all the ceiling fans running.  But those days are gone, i am real careful with things.  Have to be.  Last summer, we ate suppers out somewhere, where the place was air-conditioned.  As i write this, i have a medium skillet of veges sauteing in butter.  Normally, the house doesn't get hot...normally.  With the humidity, it's been like in the 100s.  The kitchen won't get too hotter, veges can saute on low.  Just veges, i had chicken earlier from the deli.

Rhonda cracked a funny before church. Was chit-chatting with her, about the previous day. While at the bank,

there was, basically, a near naked slender 30ish woman - yeah, it's summer, and...?  Anyway, the woman was sporting a wolf tat.  Of ccoouuurrrssse, there has to be a tat.  In recounting this, i stated the obvious:  those tats (may look, but they) ain't cheap.  And what's up with wolves? They're sneaky and nasty.  Had added that i guess she has the money because she doesn't buy clothing.  But still, how do people afford that stuff?  And Rhonda quipped (but i don't think she was joking) that you see them showing up at [HopeHouse] and coming away with bread, cereal, tuna, peas ...

Anyway, outside the bank, that near-naked tatted woman climbs into her nice late-model, air-air-conditioned SUV, turns on the rock-country mus-eech and drives away.  While i, in that poor threadbare cotton maxi-dress (and work-stained slip) get into my old-as-the-moon half-rusted (the ac don't work) car and go my way.

But still, a person can be a KJV only, and be a total WOLF! There are several

sites, promoting wifely submission - one or two written by, and for, women, that just give me the willies.  A smugness thicker than smog in summer.  No compassion for women who could not weather a marriage that really wasn't.

Just read an account recently, where the wife worked, and worked HARD.  What did peewee do?  Oh, here's the shocking answer:  next. to.  nothing.  And that was on a motivated day.  Anyway, the house was next to a shambles.  Things needing maintenance were either started, then left unfinished, or not started at all.  Must have been a time-pit nightmare to keep tidy.

And oh yeah, you red-pill MAGGOTS, it's quite commonplace for women to want to keep things tidy.  But too many peewees refuse to lift a finger in making the home a place that a wife can keep tidy - when she comes home from working full-time.

And, after years of this domestic abuse, YES, abuse, she gets fed up, and gets a "frivorce?"

My other blog gets low traffic, this one gets no traffic - a private place.  Yeah, could set this on "private," but anytime i Google and find an article i want to read, only to happen upon a "private" blog...uhm, then don't put it on the net.

Just listened to a few rather disturbing sermons. Didn't sleep too well last night,

but that's another post.  Now, these sermons are from the King James - the other "Bibles" give me the willies - anyway, the KJV preacher was describing how the wicked provoke, then twist their victim's responses.  Oh yeah, even i have read enough Scripture to know, the Bible is replete with warnings to steer clear of wicked people, because those monstrosities will bring ya down.

Yet, in his sermon, he was going on like we're supposed to non-stop take crap from wickeds, while going about happy-clappy.  Gag me with a ladle!  No wonder people apostasize. 

Yeah, Jesus didn't tell off his persecutors.  Uh, Jesus knew exactly who He was.  We ain't Jesus, not anywhere close!  We're just a buncha screwups - and boy oh boy, i take the prize.

Peeved, because papers seem to get away from me, and i am normally organized and tidy with things.  Yeah, i could ask the Lord's help, but am often too proud to ask Him for things regarding money.  That is sin.  Having been left in somewhat of a lurch...oh well, inhales to be me.  The preacher did however point out how many "husbands" really don't give a flyin' flip about the welfare of their families.  Well golly-gee, no wonder women wax feminatzi.

Plain don't want to ask anyone else for any sort of help.  People will and DO let ya down, and frankly, they can all take their agendas and go eff themselves.

Yeah, women are mouthy, bossy. Hey, it comes with peewees everywhere.

Us women can forgetabout men stepping up and providing security for their wives/widows.  Nope.  That's why we women been forced to grow a pair, head into the workplace, and no holds bar get the executive director jobs.  We have to wear the pants, lest we be caught in raggedy ones come old age.

People are in a snit over the single moms everywhere.  Wanna know why these 30-something women get b*itchy and serve the divorce papers?  Because, after 10-15 years of living with peewee (who can't seem to get his nose away from the brain-draining dirty-sites or get it up) these women see no future.  What women find sexy in a man?  Oh, that's a no-brainer.  Women are turned on by men who aren't afraid of (dare i say???)  w-o-r-k.

And these women see no womanly clothes in the stores either.  Any wonder so many scowled expressions, so much clippy speech - like the gruesome-twosome over at work; one's fat, the skinny one sports tats.  Glad i don't have to work with either one.

Why are women getting the good jobs? Surely their success at marketplace

competition wouldn't have anything to do with life choices! Ya know, going to bed at 9pm, instead of going to the bar - and laying out $5s and $10s till half-past 11pm.  Bosses ain't stupid.  Bosses can tell who is awake and alert at 8am, and who is...well, somewhat groggy.  There are plenty of stats which reveal which sex gets pulled over for DUI, and which sex generally does not.  Not rocket science, bosses need employees who are reliable - who safeguard their driver's licenses. 

Meanwhile, both the churchians and the red-pillers go on blaming the government for forcing businesses to hire women.  Uh, businesses have all sorts of ways of skirting quotas.  Okay, some may be a bit underhanded, but bosses don't need someone with one or more skanky screen -names/skanky site accounts.  Those sites get ALOT of hits Monday through Friday, from 9am to 5pm - fancy that!  Fortunately, with smart-phones, bosses no longer have to worry over much about their computers catching a skank bug, but those same smart-phones can sure put a drain on productivity.  Meanwhile, some states, like Pennsylvania, have laws which allow employers to hire and fire, for really no reason - provided there is no proof of harrassment or racism.

Bosses ain't stupid.  Bosses hire women, because bosses know the women probably have children to provide for - and so, are going to work, and work hard.  Not much of a guarantee with men - who are known to up and leave town, a month or so before DRO gets the claim to pay peewee a call.

Do women become raging feminists because - aside of various other reasons -

they know one or more widows, and heard about several others?  While many men PROVIDE for their wives, many don't.  For whatever reasons - more like excuses, it's no wonder (smart) women make sure to keep a card or two up their sleeve.  i hate to say this, but it's true, way too many men are (next to) worthless.

Meanwhile the  "manosphere" is growing in popularity (and so are 30 year old "men" sponging off in aunt selma's basement).  And, while peewee's collective bellyaching (instead of WORKING) isn't likely to draw much attention from our nation's leaders, (except for maybe a few laughs) i have no desire to remain silent, as those good-fer-nuthin effers run down women - uh, 'cause no half-decent woman wants much, if anything, to do with them slackers. 

Dutch treat - my foot!  Oh, but they want the fornication.  Dear "thots," stay away from the grimy lot of 'em.  You can do way better - and get a half-decent dinner.  We women are not moochers; we are women.  Men are supposed to take care of us.  Cause if men won't get off their rusty-dustys, and step up their "game" (another term the misogs like to bandy about) then the tax-payers will have to.

Six gigs of data. That's the plan i am on. In order to not go over,

i steer clear of u-tube, and videos in general - but they're hard to avoid, since many sites run videos.  Uh, because, i guess, text in involves...oh horrors, having to READ.  Audio uses data, more so than text, but nowhere near the brain-numbing movin-picture-pages. There seems to be more and more vIdeo.  When we were pre-schoolers, we looked at picture books, then we learned to read.  Oh, but reading takes some brain-muscle.  Sites with text, and no stupid vIdeos, use up alot less data.

Was just on a site where people were saying that 100 gigs a month is common.  People must be watching alot of vIdeos - like one after the other.  Morons.

Anyway, because i like to visit and post to blogs, and download sermons, am now being swindled for another gig.  Being alone, i don't want to go out and about - too many old fornicators out there, and i simply do not care to be around that.  No, am not some holier-than-thou, just do not want that appearance of evil.

Guess i'll sign up for more data...maybe.  All i know is, funds are limited, being eaten alive by wolves.  Ya know, be responsible all your life, pay yer bills on time, honor your marital commitment, and get kicked in the teeth.   In short, a widow who stuck it out, but the law could care freaking less.  This is not to down divorcees - with so many anti-husbands around, a gal can only take so much.

Hmm, sorta makes the gal who stuck it out to the end, uh sorta a hero.  Yeah, well we know about the REAL heros - ya know, the guys and (in our eff'd up society that sends) gals who served in the military, so the rest of us can sit around at social gatherings and play with our phones.

People RESENT soldiers - just got wind of a conversation the other day.  Won't say where, but the place has alot of co-exist people, and one of the guys wears dresses.  Go figure.  And yeah, veterans can be a pain - uh, sooner or later, most people get screwy in the head after killing one or more people.  Happens in war.  Never mind, there's people who never so much as gotten into a shoving match, who suck the oxygen right out of the room - and the neighboring rooms as well.

Anyway, spend alot of time on this thing.  i am alone, and afraid that the wolves won't leave so much as part of a hand or foot.  Oh well, worldlings are grasping greedies - and they're all so confoundedly boring.  What else is news!

Sadly, so many husbands have money for golf clubs and beer, but no money

to (do the adult thing and) provide basic stuff for their wives - i'm not talking $300 shoes, just basic lots-a-mileage leathers for half that.   Forget dudz-fer-us, they sell cheesy crap, that might hold up for a season, maybe two - that kind of UGLY shiola is more expensive in the long-run.  But of course, pee-wee is too frakkin stupid and lazy to do the math.  And wifey walks, because...

This blog is very low-traffic, so i can post freely.  Just read a comment on another blog about something the Government is doing to help displaced wives.  (Read: kicked-th' eff out, because pee-wee has refused to man- up.)  Won't elaborate, because the red-pill pukes will have a melt-down, and i am in no mood right now for their nasty solipsism.

Ya know, when the government steps in to do a Husband's job, our taxes will go up.  Methinks this new law will enable more wives to get out of their anti-marriage.  Yay!  No, i do not advocate divorce, but too many marriages are just plain toxic.  This isn't about Herbie leaving his stinky socks in the livingroom, this is about years into decades of various cruelties. 

A resounding YYAAAYYY to Uncle Sam, providing for the weaker sex.  Hey, somebody's godda do it - cause, per the stats, it ain't the "husbands."  And those freaking cads are every freaking where.

Ew, there's just something eecky about collecting one's late Husband's social-security

(or any other survivor's) benefits, while having moved in a "companion" - which is a white-washed term for sex-buddy/carbon-based ATM.  Why not call it for what it is!  It's fornication, and it's a lie.  Yep, sometimes men get taken advantage of.  Can't help but to hope he soon packs his stuff and heads down the road.  Of course, that would leave ms.thinks-shez-all-that with a bit of a cash-flow problem - and would have to tap into the big life-insurance policy that her late husband (having been nagged into?) left her.  Yeah, he got used as well.  Prenup, on her terms, of course.  Yep, not always the wife who's taken for granted.

i cannot help but to suspect her reason for coming around is basically the need to enjoy a bit of slumming.  She has money, and likes to talk about her vacas, her retirement life...(i may be working for quite some time).  All's i know, is that throaty chuckle of hers gets under my skin.  And i do not claim to be any great shakes as a Christian, but i don't want to be around fornicators.  Just something eecky about people like that.

To any active, former, or retIred civilian federal employee:

If you are going to put in for social security, Number #1. Good Luck getting ahold of them.  Federal civilian employees who don't pay into social security, if collecting it, let social security know right up front you are or were a civilian federal employee.  And speak real slow and simple.  When you get your social security, hold a goodly some back, because social security, evidently, don't do math so well.  Determining social security benefits is very complicated - needlessly complicated - for federal employees.  And it's a real good idea to check their math, at the very least, every year. 

Bible says, somewhere in the New Testament, that the world loves its own.

i have a hard time with that one.  Seeing how worldlings cheat one another - even among family members.  My late mother-in-law had received a decent inheritance from a friend whom she had cared for.  About 100k - and it was gone, inside of two years.  Husband said she had been sweet-talked out of it.  Guess that sort of thing runs in the family.  He and his two brothers had to pony up the funeral expense.  She had nothing, not even a small life-insurance policy.  That went away from non-payment of premium.  There was some spite, yeah that runs in families too.

All my adult life, and even in my teens - though i never made much, i always paid my bills on time, and managed to put some away.  Evidently, that stirs resentment. 

Basically, i am being pulled six ways to Sunday, and i greatly fear that i will go under.  The WOLVES are eating me alive.  If it weren't for the knowledge that the Lord has put me in the fiery furnace for His glory, and for my good, i would be a total basket case.

Oh i fear having to accept charity, not too far down the road.  i am a proud person, and we know what the Scriptures say about that.

Last night i was listening to a sermon, about King David on the run, and his enemies (and toxic friends?) round about... and the Lord's comforting and validating words to David - that his enemies were whack, and on their way to....eeyuk!  Those Scriptures were both comforting and not.  i am certainly nowhere near King David's league.

Having read of some of his experiences, he had undergone a deep sense of betrayal and exceeding loneliness.  Yeah, i get that.  i am fixing to distance myself from a friend of 40 years, because when she comes around, she brags about her easy retIred life; recently she made a comment that 10k wasn't a big deal.  So i best avoid her because my long-fused propensity to eventually pop off and tell her to go eff herself.  She don't need that, because to do so is bad witness on my part.

Yeah, surprise-surprise, saved people can be every bit as crude and annoying as lost people.  Difference is:  lost people can come up with numerous plausible/clever reasons, while saved people have NO excuse EVER popping off four-letter words.  Saved people know this, while lost people justify themselves in telling ole braggart to shove th' fleck off.

i want to go home, the worldlings make life a real drag - not only for saved people, but lost people also. 

First link to this blog. An extreme case? Maybe. But certainly a caution

to ALL women... Oh yeah, you can love him, and you can trust him...up to a point.  In the article, the husband was obviously a devil. And the poor lady didn't  know it. And yeah, not all men are like that.  But wicked men do exist.  And evil hides, evil lies.  She was a good wife to him, and what does she get?  Totally kicked in the teeth, that's what.  Sisters beware.

i have a small savings, and my late husband had his eye on it.  i call that little bit my boundary...was the principle of the thing.  Shared my wages, my time.  But that? Uh-uh, dat's mines!  i got up each weekday morning, and went to work for that.  And frankly, i shoulda been a little more selfish...in a  bit of a jam right now.

Women are by nature, not real smart when it comes to living in the world-as-is.  Actually, the only women who aren't house-plant stupid about the world-as-is, are the purple-haired feminists. 

Had the terse letter, written, stamped, sealed, and in my purse.

Was fixing to do something really stupid - NO! Not "that" self-centered and pathetically craven - just unnecessarily mean.  And yeah, there's history, there's issues.  Anyway, went upstairs and was fixin' to get into the shower, when that "quiet "tap" on the shoulder got my attention.  Well, i wanted to mail the stupid letter, anyway.  But had to change my mind, because mailing it would trash my (already botched-up) witness for Christ.  Uh-uh!  One crappy decision can certainly lead to a sheet-avalanche.  Standing there, i was at a crossroad.  Scary.  And secondly, yeah, she's a freaking braggart ...oh well, then she's a freaking braggart, but i can't do that (be so mean) to another person.  Uh, she has a soul, she has feelings too.

Anyway, took my shower, got dressed, came back downstairs, grabbed the letter, and threw it where it belongs - in the trash, along with with the ... bleech i'm still coughing up.  (Couch-surfer cold still knocks and, from the outside, spins tales tales of woe.)

Car doors froze shut. Oh joy, more leave down the tubes, more

money down the gas-tank, more $ for parking in the city (because the bus - which ain't cheap either) is leaving as i type this from home.  Yesterday, had to call a cab, because the 3-hour delay, turned into closing - and waiting hours for a bus that might, or not,  make it in the half-froze slush?

Other issues, which i cannot detail at this time (except that no-fault divorce not only divorce-rapes the responsible spouse, but punishes society as well).  No, there was no divorce talk/proceedings between my late Husband and myself.  For now, will remain mum on the issue, oh but later down the line, perhaps ... ;)

And now there's talk of making it legal to simply let a newborn lay on the table and die.  Yeah, it's really easy to justify, if the kid was born without a brain - but it's only a matter of time before something like a slightly misshapen earlobe will qualify as a birth defect.  Just more evidence, we all are headed for serious trouble - as in the days of Noah...  Every thought and imagination was evil back then?  Ya think, letting newborns (healthy or not) DIE on a cold metal table didn't go on, as a matter of course, just down the street from Lamech's accounting firm and wagon-gear?

Anyway, i am being stalked by several wolves.  But i know where it's coming from.  Ever hear of a guy named Job?  No, i ain't anywhere near his exalted league.  Jus sayin, people who, for-real, acknowledge the Lord as sovereign, uh, one way or another, they WILL be stalked, attacked, defrauded - and in armpit nations Christ's sheep are brutally slaughtered; not anywhere near that bad here...

Speaking of PUNISHING the responsible, if a person chooses to live on a cash-basis, manages to save atleast some money, and that person has a long history of paying his or her bills on time, but has not taken out any loans for the past decade or so...  Guess what, that person's credit-score might work against him or her.  Yeah, the debt-slavers can't seem to catch enough thralls, in order to finance their (skanky) thrills.

Yeah, worldlings are grasping ninnies, they don't intentionally go out of their way to skewer anyone, they're simply busy marching in - what appears to be - Hebert Spencer's and Ayn Rand's parade.   But the question remains, whose parade were those two useful idiots marching in?  Hey, Herb; hey Annie, how's that now workin' for ya?

There ARE numerous bloggers/followers out there who desperately

want old/er women to be bitter/greedy/entitled, and downright craven beeches.  Otherwise, these cyber-penning red-pill sucking pee-wees would have to find another excuse to spew their rubbish.  Oh, trying to be nice is hard.  Lord says in His Bible, we are to pray for our enemies.  Triple-tough call.

It's no secret that many widows are left in a bit of a jam.  Well, the pee-wee gallery gets their delights on that one - especially, when the economically-insecure widow decides to resolve the i$$ue by taking the forni-route, i.e., hunt for and hope to move in a boy-friend.

Dear Holy Spirit, keep me away far away from that mess - while i don't have a thousand Scriptures committed to memory, i know what Your Bible says about fornication; that Jesus Christ judges unrepentant traffickers in that ...  Serious.

The misogynists just luv it when a post-wall woman realizes, that it's obvious, her husband (or, if not married, her boyfriend) didn't love her/wasn't watching her back.  Well, have a bit of bad news for the misogs (t-hehe).  Goes like this:  in a bit of a jam, and not only that, the jam won't be going away for awhile.  Oh, but for the misogs, the news gets even worse.  While i am not exactly overjoyed with these circumstances, at the end of the day, i can only hope my late Husband is safe with Jesus.

Oh, but beef and wail misogs; 'cause the news gets even worse for your agenda.  i will type slow the following statements.  If i was just another hell-bound worldling, i would be the proverbial "bitter" post-waller.  In other words, the ONLY reason why i haven't already gone down the (blame)drain is: because the Holy Spirit has taken up residence in my heart - and is adding on another room or two.

Actually, that term, (post-wall) so popular with the misogs, seems to carry the connotation of a 40 or 50-something woman; while it's sort of fun to use, my 50-somethings are past-tense, and could be construed along the lines of a 30-something putting on the makeup in order to pass for 20-something.  And no, 'am not into fakey... (oh, ttooo bad, misogs) just more evidence, that the Holy Spirit has commandeered this bit of real estate.  Kid you not, if i was a worldling, doing what I thought/wanted ... uh, not pretty. (t-hehe)

And no, "age isn't just a number."  Being old ... inhales.  i can no longer, safely, shovel the snow off the roof - back in mid November, had a close call.  So, i'll have to call the roofing people, and that project will finally be done right.  For reasons i am not yet comfortable elaborating, was going to hold off on that project, but my safety and general well-being is more important than greedy/sleezy/lies-like-wet-filthy-rug mammon.

Yay, got that stupid new license plate on. Didn't think i could do it, ya know,

Husband is in no condition to travel 40 miles and come to my rescue - he's in the graveyard, with the other veterans.  So, had to figure it out for myself.  That de-rust stuff sure did help.  Was really  vexed, because the cop said i have to (use up more fricken gas and) go over there and show him that it's on.  i don't need to be shelling out bucks for fines.

All because a... not going there.

Where i will go, here shortly, is into the other room, to get the hard-copy, and a pen.  And write out some stuff that i'm not ready to post to the internet.  There's "something" in the air.  Back in the day, Bob Dylan sang about social change.  Funny how, 50 years  later, issues are so radically different, and yet, the hope, the purpose feels the same.

"Volunteers of America, volunteers of Americs ..."  Jefferson Airplane

Ain't totally stupid either. Am well aware there's stats out

there that confirm an increased probability (uh, like 2/3rds) that widows will experience some significant degree of financial insecurity - i.e., hope the freaking tires hold up, atleast 'till the fall.  Uh, no vacas in my future - well anytime before the sun starts burning significant amounts of helium.

And yeah, i get it.  Moving in a pee-wee (uh, when her 60-something, pickings are slim at best) does help with the bills...uh, but then again, could be a set-up on pee-wee's part.

Either way, i continue to pray for a strong tall hedge about me.  Hey, i'll manage somehow, money-wise; i'll depend on the Lord... And if any scoffers choose to laugh and mock, oh have at it - uhm, because i really don't care what a bunch of pedantic dunderheads think; and if that breaks any bubbles, ttooo bad ;) 

Anyway, wouldn't moving in a boyfriend, or getting him to buy you supper (yeah, good luck with even getting the 2-fer over at qwik-way)...?  Still, a gal doesn't have to be 20-something, and walk 3rd street to be a ho.  i ain't no ho, and if those tires don't pass inspection...still, i ain't no ho.

And neither am i going to cast mire on my late Husband's memory. 

How many of those "post-wall" / "cat ladies" are widows?

Ya know, women who had been MARRIED, who had been wives to Men.  Has to be really tough for young and middle-aged women.  At 60-something, things are different.  And yeah, there's drugs for that (and those drugs may be portals for devils to come through...uh, no thanks).  Whether those "drugs" contain a(least one) hellish ingredient or not, widows are no longer wives.  So, per that aspect of life, that's like O-V-E-R!  Oh, and Lord Jesus, please keep that hedge high, thick and solid - just because i am, by nature, a stuck-up old broad, doesn't mean i could nevah end up stooping (stupiding) to being sweet-talked into ... ew!

Uh, yeah, red-piller's, there ARE a few lady-mgtows.  Lady-mgtows, because their Husbands now lay in a box, in the graveyard.  And - besides that unmarried intimacy is a major sin (do ya really wanna flip off the King of kings?) there's nobody who can even begin to fill your late Husband's shoes...  Uh, so why settle.  Yeah, you red-pill pathetics, your market value ain't so great either...inhales when your rubbish gets thrown back in your sneering little mugs, don't it ;)

Yeah, i didn't just fall off a melon-truck; I know there's widows (and more than a few) who are supplementing their income per their late Husband's provisioning, while having moved in/fornicating with some boyfriend.  Uh, ain't that - uh, at the very, very least - cheatin' the gubment?

And yeah, (if someone happens upon) this little rant, it's bound to ruffle some feathers/stamp a few toes.  Well, guess what: too bad so sad - now ask me if i give a hoot ;)

Don't seem to have a clue, or take a hint. What is it with company!

Company who more like horns in, and then stays too long.  Uh, not everyone is comfortably retIred, some of us will end up still commuting to the city for several years to come.  That means getting up early, for us old people - who cannot retIre anytime soon - (will elaborate the reason at a later time) that also means getting to bed early.  That also means, wanting some me-time, prior to showering and turning in for the night. 

Still peeved, didn't get to bed until after 11.  No, this isn't about football, don't have a TV.  And don't want one either.  Neither do i want other people's problems.  Have more than enough of my own right now, and do not want to be hassled.

It's terribly cold outside, and not exactly warm in here.

i am wearing three layers of flannel, and blogging from under blankets.  i suppose my Husband's body is frozen, over at that military grave-yard.

Strange, how our minds shut down, in order to cope.  During my Husband's viewing, funeral and burial, it was like, i was a guest at some guy's funeral.  i regret not offering the other people to take a flower with them - there were plenty of flowers.  i just didn't think, just was at someone's funeral.  At the viewing, the sermon just didn't register, though the Pastor preached that sooner or later, each one of us ... 

Funerals are for the living, and i am glad the Pastor's message, was gentle, but reminded us that we each will go into eternity, and our fate is on Christ's terms.  Most people really don't want to square with that reality - hey, me too. 

What really ticks me off, are these holier-than-thou types, who go around as if they are above temptation and sin.  Just read a preachy blog-post, from such a one - that woman, with her long goody-two-shoes lectures (comes off as looking down at other wives - who don't have th' $$ for personal trainers...) That woman gives me the willies.

Husband passed away in October of this past year.

This blog will be a bit touch and go, because widows have to be careful.  There's wolves out there.  Whenever, even after years, after my mother-in-law lost her husband, whenever someone would call for him, she'd say, "He's not here, i'll let him know you called."

The other day - and the lady didn't mean to offend - a girlfriend referred to me as "single."  Held my peace, she is a wonderful friend.  i ain't single.  Single holds the connotation of looking - or realizing ya dun hit th' wall...sa-mack!  That yer so out of the market.  Well, so flipping what, bein' ouddath' market!  What am i?  A pair of pants?

i ain't single, no-how!  i am a widow, and my late Husband is (in the words of my grandma, describing her late Husband) "is a tough act to follow."  And yeah, it's only been a few months since my Husband's passing, but the Lord Jesus keep me from the entire foolishness - that wwaaaayyyy too many old ladies get in involved in.

Looked at several widow-blog lists, and many talk about dating.  Makes me want to vomit! And these days, dating carries the connotation of fornicatin'-goin'-on.  Uhm, that's sin.  Is peewee worth going to hell for?  Oh, i don't think so.