i like coming here, because here is not "blabbing all over the internet."

Have to have traffic for that.  Anyway, here at this safe place... Oh, and by the way, my "private blog" is in a drawer - ya know, the old fashioned kind - pen and paper.  Anyway, want to relate a true story, about an extended family member.  We'll call her Ellen.  Ellen has always been motivated.  She draws a six-figure salary.  Granted, i don't like her, she was always a snooty bayoch.  But i haven't seen her for years, and doesn't break my heart.

Here's the deal.  She and her mom were very close, years ago.  The dynamics amazed me, how they were like friends.  Well, evidently, something went bad.  i wasn't there, i don't know - she and her mom are not on good terms.  Ellen has a media page - ya know, the real popular one.  Those "popular" ones give me the willies.

And i heard those exact words (well, pretty dern close).  "Blabbing all over the internet."  Hey, i wasn't there, and yeah, Ellen is a snooty ...  That aside, it's a free country, and if she needs to vent on that widely accessed platform, we are free to read, or not read.

Was taken rather aback by those words.  Like invalidation, something was bothering Ellen, and it's like keeping up a front is more important than being real.  Uh, those "blabbing all over ..." words were quoted by a motivated get-stuff-done person - a person who, i have to seriously wonder, if she has emotions.  i say that, because - while controlling ones emotions is not only VERY Biblical, but also makes good sense in the world.  But i seriously wonder about people who don't ever get irritated or opinionated.  People like that, i definitely keep my guard up, and keep a distance from.

And what i heard is: Ellen's mom has been upset about things.  She may be bitter, or she may be grieved - methinks, the latter.  Her late husband of several decades left her next to nothing, and she caregivers a grown child.  Uh, sounds like reason to be upset.  Doesn't help one iota that the (elderly) mom is a practical atheist, from what i gather.

Speaking of (practical or categorical) atheists, saw a picture of, think it was, Bertram Russell taken a few years before his death.  And a quote that i don't remember.  But i remember the tone, it was of very controlled sadness, disappointment, mixed with fear and dread.  Well yeah, he was like 80-something.  There was something eerie about his countenance, i thought of creatures stirring, as the darkness approaches on a summer evening.

Six-figure or eating cheese crackers for supper, to be near the end of life here on earth as an atheist...not good.  Atleast mormons and jehovah's witnesses, and goddess-worshippers (catholics) believe in an afterlife.  Unfortunately, unless you believe that only faith in Christ (not Mary, not Allah, thor, Mickey mouse) and repenting of sin will save you.  The latter is a fruit of salvation.

Anyway, to believe that death is final, well yeah, of course yer gonna end up dissatisfied, disappointed.  King Solomon had the best of things, and when he got old, he realized he (accomplished) he had wasted so many years in stuff that really didn't matter.  He was no atheist, and yet he was bummed out.  i can only imagine what goes through an unbeliever's mind, as old age manifests itself.

Uh, no thanks.  And yeah, what a quiet joy to give thanks to the Lord for a couple of cheese crackers.

Oh brother, over at pa(t)he's, some atheist was (predictably) going on about how

atheists know (the Bible) better ...  Yeah, I need to get my eyes checked, so i'll call up the ear doctor.  Seriously, the Scriptures are SO PACKED - which is why (per the Holy Spirit) a 10th-grade educated farm-hand can really know the Word, in numerous ways, not bestowed on most others.  Uh yeah, none of the Scriptures are for private interpretation - yeah, that's written in there.  

What i'm getting at is: i have heard several godly preachers say how they've read such-n-such chapter over and over again, over the years - and bam!  Such-n-such verse ... was like they'd never read it before, but they had.  Yeah, even i know, try explaining that to a Christ-basher - uh, like trying to explain basic arithmetic to a chimpanzee; whaddawastea breath.

Some Christians are interested in the genealogy portions - and use (and check their) excel spreadsheets.  Other Christian's hone in on the battles.  While others focus on the young church.  And still others, will read, and update pencil-drawn maps.  Uh, can ya spell, different parts of the Body of Christ?

Oh yeah, i've no beef whatsoever with stats that claim that atheists are generally more intelligent/educated than for-real Christians.  Uh, didn't the Lord enable (per common grace) that bigger-barn guy with the smarts and the drive to achieve?  He was fixing to retIre, then WHAM ... he's not golfing in Florida.

Continuation from a recent post on another blog. The "mean-girls" over

at a certain red-pill site - where they talk about "game," which is nuthin but mental manipulation - anyway, these guys outdo any self-respecting junior-high mean-girl, any day of the week.  Teenage mean-girls may grow out of it, and eventually grow a heart.  Uh, not so sure about 30 year-old men (for lack of better terms).   Uh, pharoah's heart was already very hard - while Moses was enjoying a quiet shepard's life. 

Anyway, another advantage of being an old "hag" (back at cha, bozos) is, having no sex-drive.  Yeah, i'm all dried up - and that don't break my heart one iota.  i don't want a boyfriend because that's fornication; don't even want even the appearance of that possibly going on.  Yeah, this old hag is a snob - so i've no desire to white-wash that reality in churchianeze.  And i don't want a husband either, because the Bible says a wife is to submit to their husband.  Even if he's a bozo - uh, like most of 'em.  No thanks, glad i'm way past "post wall."

i'm sorry to think this way, but doggoneit, with 2/3rds of the college-debt load being on the backs of women, matches the same 2/3rds of college students are female.  Uh, where the tarnation are the men?  That stat speaks volumes, and those young fellas attended slacker101 somewhere.  Uh, like from dear old daDUH - who threw mom under the bus, and then had the gall to whine when she put in paperwork at the DRO? 

By the way, there's this guy at work, going on about how proud he is of his son.  Horse patties!  If he was for-real, he and the boy's mom would still be MARRIED and sleeping in the same bed.  Wives don't normally decide on some half-cloudy Thursday, they want to be single - it's a years wearing down period.  And guess what, women are fallible humans too - and can only stands so much. 

A few days ago, that same guy was spouting some other rubbish - something about a woman had stopped to chat, and him not wanting to hear about some church picnic...uh, like participating in church fellowship is worthy of being scoffed at.  Oh, fershure, wanted nuthin to do with that jerk, the first time he spouted his stupidity.  His (married) co-worker seems flirtatious...oh, she can have 'em - ugh!

What I'm getting at is, college-age men have adultolescents who sired them.  Many of these cad-dads are in their 50s and some are older. 

i can keep the window AC upstairs on energy saver. We're having a heat wave.

It's been a humid mid 90s for much of the week.  And i've been sleeping upstairs for the past few nights.  Normal summer temps around here are like 85 by day and 65 or 70  by night.  So a fan and a parted curtain does the trick.  When my husband was alive, we'd have all the ceiling fans running.  But those days are gone, i am real careful with things.  Have to be.  Last summer, we ate suppers out somewhere, where the place was air-conditioned.  As i write this, i have a medium skillet of veges sauteing in butter.  Normally, the house doesn't get hot...normally.  With the humidity, it's been like in the 100s.  The kitchen won't get too hotter, veges can saute on low.  Just veges, i had chicken earlier from the deli.

Rhonda cracked a funny before church. Was chit-chatting with her, about the previous day. While at the bank,

there was, basically, a near naked slender 30ish woman - yeah, it's summer, and...?  Anyway, the woman was sporting a wolf tat.  Of ccoouuurrrssse, there has to be a tat.  In recounting this, i stated the obvious:  those tats (may look, but they) ain't cheap.  And what's up with wolves? They're sneaky and nasty.  Had added that i guess she has the money because she doesn't buy clothing.  But still, how do people afford that stuff?  And Rhonda quipped (but i don't think she was joking) that you see them showing up at [HopeHouse] and coming away with bread, cereal, tuna, peas ...

Anyway, outside the bank, that near-naked tatted woman climbs into her nice late-model, air-air-conditioned SUV, turns on the rock-country mus-eech and drives away.  While i, in that poor threadbare cotton maxi-dress (and work-stained slip) get into my old-as-the-moon half-rusted (the ac don't work) car and go my way.