To any active, former, or retIred civilian federal employee:

If you are going to put in for social security, Number #1. Good Luck getting ahold of them.  Federal civilian employees who don't pay into social security, if collecting it, let social security know right up front you are or were a civilian federal employee.  And speak real slow and simple.  When you get your social security, hold a goodly some back, because social security, evidently, don't do math so well.  Determining social security benefits is very complicated - needlessly complicated - for federal employees.  And it's a real good idea to check their math, at the very least, every year. 

Bible says, somewhere in the New Testament, that the world loves its own.

i have a hard time with that one.  Seeing how worldlings cheat one another - even among family members.  My late mother-in-law had received a decent inheritance from a friend whom she had cared for.  About 100k - and it was gone, inside of two years.  Husband said she had been sweet-talked out of it.  Guess that sort of thing runs in the family.  He and his two brothers had to pony up the funeral expense.  She had nothing, not even a small life-insurance policy.  That went away from non-payment of premium.  There was some spite, yeah that runs in families too.

All my adult life, and even in my teens - though i never made much, i always paid my bills on time, and managed to put some away.  Evidently, that stirs resentment. 

Basically, i am being pulled six ways to Sunday, and i greatly fear that i will go under.  The WOLVES are eating me alive.  If it weren't for the knowledge that the Lord has put me in the fiery furnace for His glory, and for my good, i would be a total basket case.

Oh i fear having to accept charity, not too far down the road.  i am a proud person, and we know what the Scriptures say about that.

Last night i was listening to a sermon, about King David on the run, and his enemies (and toxic friends?) round about... and the Lord's comforting and validating words to David - that his enemies were whack, and on their way to....eeyuk!  Those Scriptures were both comforting and not.  i am certainly nowhere near King David's league.

Having read of some of his experiences, he had undergone a deep sense of betrayal and exceeding loneliness.  Yeah, i get that.  i am fixing to distance myself from a friend of 40 years, because when she comes around, she brags about her easy retIred life; recently she made a comment that 10k wasn't a big deal.  So i best avoid her because my long-fused propensity to eventually pop off and tell her to go eff herself.  She don't need that, because to do so is bad witness on my part.

Yeah, surprise-surprise, saved people can be every bit as crude and annoying as lost people.  Difference is:  lost people can come up with numerous plausible/clever reasons, while saved people have NO excuse EVER popping off four-letter words.  Saved people know this, while lost people justify themselves in telling ole braggart to shove th' fleck off.

i want to go home, the worldlings make life a real drag - not only for saved people, but lost people also. 

First link to this blog. An extreme case? Maybe. But certainly a caution

to ALL women... Oh yeah, you can love him, and you can trust him...up to a point.  In the article, the husband was obviously a devil. And the poor lady didn't  know it. And yeah, not all men are like that.  But wicked men do exist.  And evil hides, evil lies.  She was a good wife to him, and what does she get?  Totally kicked in the teeth, that's what.  Sisters beware.

i have a small savings, and my late husband had his eye on it.  i call that little bit my boundary...was the principle of the thing.  Shared my wages, my time.  But that? Uh-uh, dat's mines!  i got up each weekday morning, and went to work for that.  And frankly, i shoulda been a little more selfish...in a  bit of a jam right now.

Women are by nature, not real smart when it comes to living in the world-as-is.  Actually, the only women who aren't house-plant stupid about the world-as-is, are the purple-haired feminists. 

Had the terse letter, written, stamped, sealed, and in my purse.

Was fixing to do something really stupid - NO! Not "that" self-centered and pathetically craven - just unnecessarily mean.  And yeah, there's history, there's issues.  Anyway, went upstairs and was fixin' to get into the shower, when that "quiet "tap" on the shoulder got my attention.  Well, i wanted to mail the stupid letter, anyway.  But had to change my mind, because mailing it would trash my (already botched-up) witness for Christ.  Uh-uh!  One crappy decision can certainly lead to a sheet-avalanche.  Standing there, i was at a crossroad.  Scary.  And secondly, yeah, she's a freaking braggart ...oh well, then she's a freaking braggart, but i can't do that (be so mean) to another person.  Uh, she has a soul, she has feelings too.

Anyway, took my shower, got dressed, came back downstairs, grabbed the letter, and threw it where it belongs - in the trash, along with with the ... bleech i'm still coughing up.  (Couch-surfer cold still knocks and, from the outside, spins tales tales of woe.)

Car doors froze shut. Oh joy, more leave down the tubes, more

money down the gas-tank, more $ for parking in the city (because the bus - which ain't cheap either) is leaving as i type this from home.  Yesterday, had to call a cab, because the 3-hour delay, turned into closing - and waiting hours for a bus that might, or not,  make it in the half-froze slush?

Other issues, which i cannot detail at this time (except that no-fault divorce not only divorce-rapes the responsible spouse, but punishes society as well).  No, there was no divorce talk/proceedings between my late Husband and myself.  For now, will remain mum on the issue, oh but later down the line, perhaps ... ;)

And now there's talk of making it legal to simply let a newborn lay on the table and die.  Yeah, it's really easy to justify, if the kid was born without a brain - but it's only a matter of time before something like a slightly misshapen earlobe will qualify as a birth defect.  Just more evidence, we all are headed for serious trouble - as in the days of Noah...  Every thought and imagination was evil back then?  Ya think, letting newborns (healthy or not) DIE on a cold metal table didn't go on, as a matter of course, just down the street from Lamech's accounting firm and wagon-gear?

Anyway, i am being stalked by several wolves.  But i know where it's coming from.  Ever hear of a guy named Job?  No, i ain't anywhere near his exalted league.  Jus sayin, people who, for-real, acknowledge the Lord as sovereign, uh, one way or another, they WILL be stalked, attacked, defrauded - and in armpit nations Christ's sheep are brutally slaughtered; not anywhere near that bad here...

Speaking of PUNISHING the responsible, if a person chooses to live on a cash-basis, manages to save atleast some money, and that person has a long history of paying his or her bills on time, but has not taken out any loans for the past decade or so...  Guess what, that person's credit-score might work against him or her.  Yeah, the debt-slavers can't seem to catch enough thralls, in order to finance their (skanky) thrills.

Yeah, worldlings are grasping ninnies, they don't intentionally go out of their way to skewer anyone, they're simply busy marching in - what appears to be - Hebert Spencer's and Ayn Rand's parade.   But the question remains, whose parade were those two useful idiots marching in?  Hey, Herb; hey Annie, how's that now workin' for ya?

There ARE numerous bloggers/followers out there who desperately

want old/er women to be bitter/greedy/entitled, and downright craven beeches.  Otherwise, these cyber-penning red-pill sucking pee-wees would have to find another excuse to spew their rubbish.  Oh, trying to be nice is hard.  Lord says in His Bible, we are to pray for our enemies.  Triple-tough call.

It's no secret that many widows are left in a bit of a jam.  Well, the pee-wee gallery gets their delights on that one - especially, when the economically-insecure widow decides to resolve the i$$ue by taking the forni-route, i.e., hunt for and hope to move in a boy-friend.

Dear Holy Spirit, keep me away far away from that mess - while i don't have a thousand Scriptures committed to memory, i know what Your Bible says about fornication; that Jesus Christ judges unrepentant traffickers in that ...  Serious.

The misogynists just luv it when a post-wall woman realizes, that it's obvious, her husband (or, if not married, her boyfriend) didn't love her/wasn't watching her back.  Well, have a bit of bad news for the misogs (t-hehe).  Goes like this:  in a bit of a jam, and not only that, the jam won't be going away for awhile.  Oh, but for the misogs, the news gets even worse.  While i am not exactly overjoyed with these circumstances, at the end of the day, i can only hope my late Husband is safe with Jesus.

Oh, but beef and wail misogs; 'cause the news gets even worse for your agenda.  i will type slow the following statements.  If i was just another hell-bound worldling, i would be the proverbial "bitter" post-waller.  In other words, the ONLY reason why i haven't already gone down the (blame)drain is: because the Holy Spirit has taken up residence in my heart - and is adding on another room or two.

Actually, that term, (post-wall) so popular with the misogs, seems to carry the connotation of a 40 or 50-something woman; while it's sort of fun to use, my 50-somethings are past-tense, and could be construed along the lines of a 30-something putting on the makeup in order to pass for 20-something.  And no, 'am not into fakey... (oh, ttooo bad, misogs) just more evidence, that the Holy Spirit has commandeered this bit of real estate.  Kid you not, if i was a worldling, doing what I thought/wanted ... uh, not pretty. (t-hehe)

And no, "age isn't just a number."  Being old ... inhales.  i can no longer, safely, shovel the snow off the roof - back in mid November, had a close call.  So, i'll have to call the roofing people, and that project will finally be done right.  For reasons i am not yet comfortable elaborating, was going to hold off on that project, but my safety and general well-being is more important than greedy/sleezy/lies-like-wet-filthy-rug mammon.

Yay, got that stupid new license plate on. Didn't think i could do it, ya know,

Husband is in no condition to travel 40 miles and come to my rescue - he's in the graveyard, with the other veterans.  So, had to figure it out for myself.  That de-rust stuff sure did help.  Was really  vexed, because the cop said i have to (use up more fricken gas and) go over there and show him that it's on.  i don't need to be shelling out bucks for fines.

All because a... not going there.

Where i will go, here shortly, is into the other room, to get the hard-copy, and a pen.  And write out some stuff that i'm not ready to post to the internet.  There's "something" in the air.  Back in the day, Bob Dylan sang about social change.  Funny how, 50 years  later, issues are so radically different, and yet, the hope, the purpose feels the same.

"Volunteers of America, volunteers of Americs ..."  Jefferson Airplane

Ain't totally stupid either. Am well aware there's stats out

there that confirm an increased probability (uh, like 2/3rds) that widows will experience some significant degree of financial insecurity - i.e., hope the freaking tires hold up, atleast 'till the fall.  Uh, no vacas in my future - well anytime before the sun starts burning significant amounts of helium.

And yeah, i get it.  Moving in a pee-wee (uh, when her 60-something, pickings are slim at best) does help with the bills...uh, but then again, could be a set-up on pee-wee's part.

Either way, i continue to pray for a strong tall hedge about me.  Hey, i'll manage somehow, money-wise; i'll depend on the Lord... And if any scoffers choose to laugh and mock, oh have at it - uhm, because i really don't care what a bunch of pedantic dunderheads think; and if that breaks any bubbles, ttooo bad ;) 

Anyway, wouldn't moving in a boyfriend, or getting him to buy you supper (yeah, good luck with even getting the 2-fer over at qwik-way)...?  Still, a gal doesn't have to be 20-something, and walk 3rd street to be a ho.  i ain't no ho, and if those tires don't pass inspection...still, i ain't no ho.

And neither am i going to cast mire on my late Husband's memory. 

How many of those "post-wall" / "cat ladies" are widows?

Ya know, women who had been MARRIED, who had been wives to Men.  Has to be really tough for young and middle-aged women.  At 60-something, things are different.  And yeah, there's drugs for that (and those drugs may be portals for devils to come through...uh, no thanks).  Whether those "drugs" contain a(least one) hellish ingredient or not, widows are no longer wives.  So, per that aspect of life, that's like O-V-E-R!  Oh, and Lord Jesus, please keep that hedge high, thick and solid - just because i am, by nature, a stuck-up old broad, doesn't mean i could nevah end up stooping (stupiding) to being sweet-talked into ... ew!

Uh, yeah, red-piller's, there ARE a few lady-mgtows.  Lady-mgtows, because their Husbands now lay in a box, in the graveyard.  And - besides that unmarried intimacy is a major sin (do ya really wanna flip off the King of kings?) there's nobody who can even begin to fill your late Husband's shoes...  Uh, so why settle.  Yeah, you red-pill pathetics, your market value ain't so great either...inhales when your rubbish gets thrown back in your sneering little mugs, don't it ;)

Yeah, i didn't just fall off a melon-truck; I know there's widows (and more than a few) who are supplementing their income per their late Husband's provisioning, while having moved in/fornicating with some boyfriend.  Uh, ain't that - uh, at the very, very least - cheatin' the gubment?

And yeah, (if someone happens upon) this little rant, it's bound to ruffle some feathers/stamp a few toes.  Well, guess what: too bad so sad - now ask me if i give a hoot ;)

Don't seem to have a clue, or take a hint. What is it with company!

Company who more like horns in, and then stays too long.  Uh, not everyone is comfortably retIred, some of us will end up still commuting to the city for several years to come.  That means getting up early, for us old people - who cannot retIre anytime soon - (will elaborate the reason at a later time) that also means getting to bed early.  That also means, wanting some me-time, prior to showering and turning in for the night. 

Still peeved, didn't get to bed until after 11.  No, this isn't about football, don't have a TV.  And don't want one either.  Neither do i want other people's problems.  Have more than enough of my own right now, and do not want to be hassled.