No, this can't be right! Barb took a double-take at her bank statement.

She re-added up, again, the checks she had written, and took into account the three outstanding ones.  Nope!  Her's and the bank's balanced, to the penny.  Uh-uh, this can't be, something's missing.  She pulled out the accordion folder from the drawer, laid it atop her desk, then nudged it aside.  She stepped into her kitchen, and brewed a cup of coffee.  First things first.  With steamy cup in hand, on this balmy late june afternoon, she returned to the folder.

All the year's electric, phone/net mortgage, grocery, and the two credit card statements had check numbers, dates and amounts written on them.  No gaps.  Likewise with March's property tax, April's car inspection and May's eye doctor bill.  She checked her calendar for any expense she may have overlooked.  

It was then she noticed the small mailer lodged, somehow, between the house-loan paperwork.  Within, were two or three rent receipts, and a few somewhat crumpled other things.  One being the last satellite tv statement - $78 bucks, that hadn't cheap - and good bleeping riddance.  A receipt from pizza-planet caught her attention - $37, for a large pizza and a boli; almost enough for lunches and suppers for the whole week.  Back in november, before the move, such barely lasted a day and a half.  A very crumpled slip of paper peeked from the bottom.  She pulled it out.  It was two receips from food-world.  What were they doing?  She rarely kept grocery receipts.  

Smoothing them out, she looked them over.  Staring in the direction of her cupboards, she then noticed what was missing.  There were no chips, or tooth-sticking caramel corns, in her pantry.  Her refrigerator contained none of those abominable wings, nor any of the other thingsl$ she had bought, but not for her enjoyment.  That's what the fruits and veggies were for.   The only deli-items were the container of olives (boy, they were pricey, but so worth it :) and a thing of ham salad - for monday and tuesday's lunch.    No beer either.  Not that Barb was vying for a membership with the local ladies  temperance union, it's just that having a weekly six-pack, costed ... well, she didn't exactly know.  But whatever the amount was, amounted in calories she didn't need to consume.  

One other item on the receipt caught her attention.  Vacuum cleaner bags.  She hadn't bought any since having moved from the apartment.  Those she kept on a shelf, in the laundry room, alongside other cleaning products.  Out of a package of six, there were four left.  Come to think of it, when was the last time she needed to buy floor cleaner?  She glanced at her floors; they were clean; the dry mop did them just fine.

What was missing?  A load, one probably, making a mess...elsewhere.  And good riddance.