Uh-o, doofus is mad now. It all started, last tuesday, late morning.

Was a typical tuesday, around a quarter past eleven am.  Oh, but the weather outside was beautiful, sunny and 65.  Pennsylvania's Septembers were lovely - it was the following few months...not so. There's nothing like the smell of freshly cut grass; from outside - that is, had doofus cared to notice - came the sound of a truck engine and the rattle of a trailer - carefully loaded with lawn care equipment - leaving the property.  A typical tuesday, the two men - a father and son - usually were headed for their next customer around this time.  They always did such a nice job.

But doofus didn't care to appreciate that either; he had other things on his mind.  Number one: a nice healthy dump, followed by breakfast.  He grabbed his phone and called in an order for two ham and egg sandwiches, homefries, a chocolate mega-muffin and a large soda.  Per the delivery fees and such, the meal ran about $30 - that didn't include the tip, however.  Doofus, reached for his wallet; he scowled, rolling his eyes, $3 was enough, if the [gosh darn]  dude in the dented datsun didn't like it, he could find another job.  

The delivery time was estimated at 45 minutes.  What took them so &="> long!  Firing up his laptop, he went to work.  Call of duty, from the comfort of his couch - well, actually, the green one, which used to be upstairs.  The one aunt elma, several years ago, had her son, jimmy, move to the basement - along with the coffee table.   Yep, too many memories, Elma's husband, Ralph, had passed in '05.  

While busy, considering his next maneuver, a warning message interrupted his progress.  He grumbled out a few choice words; he knew the nature of the warning; he was near the limit.  His next dash would have to come from his other card - uh, which was getting up there too.  He grumbled about the ridiculous costs of things, and of course, with the typical blasphemy or two thrown in.

The packaging of his meal lay upon the crowded coffee table, amid some packaging from a previous meal.  Alongside, a full waste-can waited, in vain, to be emptied.  Trashday was yesterday.  No matter, aunty - having some trouble getting around - seldom used her basement stairs - and so, relieving him from hearing one of her nag sessions. What th' &#÷$  did she know about the job market anyway?  The old sow was a retired gubment worker.  (Never mind, about anyone was eligible to take a civil service test, and apply themselves.  Oh wait, doofus had a theft on his record, so there wasn't much point, going there.)

Movement caught his eye.  He looked up from his screen.  The sunlight from a dusty window, briefly brought to mind, a previous nag session.  Seriously, what th' ef was the big #*%÷ deal about the $"^& windows!  This time, however, the rather diffused rays, caught the gleam of a shoe buckle, as the pant leg followed by another descended the steps.   Edna took the nearest almost empty chair, paused a moment, then said something about things needing picked up.  Needful to say, the old woman's right ankle was swollen - staying off of it?  Easier said than done.  Edna liked accomplishing, and not bothering others in the process - wasn't like jimmy, or the neighbor  didn't have their own things to look after.

The old cow could stand to lose a few pounds, he grumbled to himself (never mind his tee and sweats fit a bit snug around his middle).   The old woman, again spoke.  Her brief sentence shocked him - though, had he been paying atleast partial attention to things outside of his awesome self...  Three days ago, auntie sold the house, and was looking forward to living in that cute condo in south carolina - where there was no snow and ice to slip and sprain upon.  A two bedroom: the main for her, and the small one?  That one was for her crafts.  

Doofus had to make other arrangements.  Neither did he realize, the closing process would go easy - the buyer had put a tad over half the property's cost as a down payment.  In short, he'd have to be out no later than the end of next month.  He scowled, watching his aunt hobble up the steps.  Where else was he going to find a place for $600 - and even if he did, there'd be no skating.   His buddy ray was engaged, and so, staying at his place?  wasn't happening.   And forget about jeffrey; he had shown him the door, three years ago, which is why he ended up surfing his way here - after two or three stops, one being with an on-and-now-permanently-OFF girlfriend.  Meh, she's a lard-bottom anyway.  

Doofus was done, thinking about his situation.   Tomorrow... maybe...  He reached for his laptop.  Duty calls.